I have no words.

I have no words to express the sadness in my heart right now.

No words to understand the hardest decision my best friend had to make today. A decision that no parent should ever have to make. A decision that says, enough is enough and it's time to let him go.

No words of condolence that will make the hurt any less painful or the sorrow go away.

I'm sorry. I'm sad. He will be missed. He was loved dearly.

These are words. But they just aren't...enough.

So, with what words I can, I will say, "Rest in peace little Benjamin. May you be wrapped in God's love for all eternity. Because Lord knows, you deserve it."

I have no words.

Ta Da!

And there you have it! My new space! What do you think??

I realize it's a little stark right now, but it'll take me a while to get all the widgets and what not I want added on. So for now, just the basics. But not bad, right?

Well, that's all the time I have to spend on it today. At least I got it unveiled. Hope you like it! :o)

Obviously...

...I have not made my changes yet. Sorry. Turned out to be a more eventful weekend than we were planning on! Coupled with the fact that my doctor's appointment today got rescheduled to last week so I am not home all afternoon looking for something to do. I'm at work. Wishing I didn't have so much to do!

I may be stopping by to visit my bestest friend in the hospital after work so we'll see if I get to the changes today or not. But keep an eye out! They will be here in the next couple days!

It's...WHEN??

Why hello there! Umm...seems it's been, oh, a good month since my last post. A few of you even thought I had died and stopped by to check up on me. No, I'm kidding, you didn't think I died. I'm around, but just barely.

I just wanted to pop in and say that yes, I am alive. And yes, I do still have some big changes coming to my blog, that I mentioned briefly way back when. That's the main reason for my post here. I got a few things together and will actually be revealing a brand new blog! Well, not so much "brand new". More of a makeover, I guess is what it really will be. I know, I'm so indecisive, I can't even find one blog theme and stick to it! Oh well. Hopefully this will be the last big change. I've thought about it for quite some time before deciding and I think I really like what I've got planned this time.

I'll have a new template, a new title, and even a new name! Yep, this will be the last time you'll see me posting as "June". But I will be keeping the same URL, so don't worry about updating any links or anything. Just get ready for the big REVEAL! I'd say it would be March 1st, but more than likely it will be either the day before or the day after. Well, it also depends on if I have to take a half day or not for a doctor visit. If so, maybe I will actually get it done on the 1st! Guess you'll just have to keep checking back to find out! :o)

He he he. I'm so sneaky like that.

Alright folks! That's all for tonight. Time to make some dinner!

Little ol' productive me

I forgot, I was going to tell y'all how unbelievable productive I was this morning. Good thing too, seeing as I'll be in bed for two days!

Okay, last night, I got in bed about 9:55pm. Early for me, but I was stressed and nervous about today and just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Well, crappy thing was Ward didn't come to bed until almost 2am! Major woke me up about 11:35pm and I felt like I had slept for HOURS so I'm thinking it's early in the morning. Then I realize lights are still on and the other half of the bed is still empty. Ugh. I go back to sleep only to keep waking up every 30-60min. until Ward finally comes to bed. Then I slept all the way through till whopping 5:15am! ::insert sarcasm here:: Alarm is set for 6:15am, but I'm like WIDE awake. Eh, guess I'll go ahead and just get up. I'm glad I did though. I was super awake and ended up being super productive. So, between the hours of 5:30am and 8am (when we left for the oral surgeon), here's what I did:

1) let dogs out
2) cleaned kitchen
3) fed dogs
4) showered/got dressed
5) put away three loads of laundry
6) stuck a load of towels in to wash
7) changed the sheets on our bed
8) spent some time on fertilityfriend.com updating my chart and catching up on message board posts since last night. (I've kinda become addicted to this site this past week. I just can't stop!)

Not bad, right? But yeah, definitely good that I got all that done since I can't do like ANYTHING right now. I hope to at least be able to get out of bed tomorrow and quite having to gauze my incision site. That would be nice.

Checking in

Hey y'all! I know I said that I would start doing better with my blogging and yet it's been another week or so since my last visit. Shame on me. ::slaps hand:: BUT, I'm now laid up in bed for the next day, so I have a bit of time. Thought I'd give y'all a quick update as to WHY I'm laid up in bed.

I mentioned in my 2009 review that the dentist found a cyst under my gums back where one of my wisdom teeth was removed from and sent me to the oral surgeon. Went in to see him and verified there was a cyst there. His plan of action: CT scan to get a better 3D picture of it, biopsy to determine what type to know best treatment plan, then finally removal.

This morning was biopsy day. And let me tell you. Having a biopsy on a cyst in your mouth is not. fun. at. all. The actual procedure went quite quickly. We got there about 9am and we were on the way home by 10:15am. It's the pain and bleeding and dry scratchy throat afterwards that kill you. Believe you me.

My throat was so dry and scratchy that I could barely talk and had to get Ward to bring me a notepad so I could write down everything I wanted to say. Once I became coherent enough I had him bring the laptop so then I just typed what I wanted. He's been downstairs most of the day so anytime I need him, I either send him a text or honk my duck call. Yes, you heard that right. Duck. Call. Apparently he could not find a suitable bell for me to ring, so I get a duck call. And then he has the nerve to call my 'calling' "pitiful". Umm...you try blowing through this thing when you can barely feel half your mouth and the other half hurts!

My stitches keep bleeding so I've had gauze stuffed in my mouth all day. Sure doesn't help the dry throat situation there. And to top it off, my pain meds aren't really helping all that much. It took sooooooo long for them to kick in and I took one just as soon as we got home this morning. I'm supposed to keep ice on 30min on and 10min off. I took it off after the first 30 min and not a minute later the pain came back so strong I wanted to cry. I've had ice on continuously since then. But hubby's been great about getting me new ice packs. He even used the vacu-packer to make some so they wouldn't leak. He's so resourceful, that man. I think if the pain continues as bad as it is today, I think I'll have Ward call tomorrow to get a new drug. They gave me Darvocet, which has acetaminophen (Tylenol), and Tylenol has NEVER worked for me. Errg.

So, for the results. They at least found that it was definitely a cyst and not a tumor, so that was good. Pathology results as to the type of cyst should be due back in the next week. I've got a follow-up scheduled for the 1st. Hopefully those come back saying it's just your everyday cyst and they just have to go in and scoop it out. Oral Surgeon said some cysts are real aggressive and not only do they take out the cyst, but also tissue and possibly teeth around it as well. I do NOT want to have that kind of cyst!! The bad news? Yes, there was bad news. Apparently the cyst is quite large. Probably like Brazil nut size. So it's already pressing into my jaw bone and like eroding away the bone so they actually will have to take out part of my jaw bone to get out the entire cyst. Greeeeaaaaat. Doc says though that since I'm young and healthy, the bone will regenerate itself so they won't have to put in any reinforcement. Better keep up with my calcium, huh? But he was quite concerned about the strength of the jaw and said even eating a tough steak might cause it to fracture! So I'll be on a quite soft food diet for a while after they remove the cyst.

Haha! I'm sure you guys were totally looking forward to reading all about cysts and jaws and bleeding. :o) But it's what's going on in my life right now, so I thought that I would share. Thanks for 'listening'!

Couples Survey

I saw this over on Eyegirl's blog and thought it was cute. Not sure if y'all ever got the full story of Ward and I, so I will share with you. Enjoy!

In The Beginning

Your name:
'June'

Your partner's name:
'Ward'

How we met:
We probably started fighting over the crayons or something along those lines, I'm sure.

Where we met:
Kindergarten. We were in the same class. Sure makes the last answer make more sense, eh?

What attracted you to each other:
Well, surely he couldn't resist me and all my 5 year old adorable-ness. And he had such cute little chubby cheeks!

How long before you went out:
Haha! Oh, about 13 years!

First Date

When:
It was November of 2000. Not sure it was ever like an official "date". We had known each other for 13 years, but never really ran in the same circles. But after we decided we liked each other, me, him, and a couple other friends went to Denny's one night. I think that was the same night we decided we were officially 'dating'. November 25, 2000.

Where:
Oops...already answered that one...Denny's. Classy, right?

Who asked who:
To be honest, he asked me out on an actual date first, but I had a student council event that night so I couldn't go. So I, in turn, invited him to go out to dinner with me and some friends.

Best part about the date:
The end. We all rode together from my house, so when we got back, he was the last to leave. ;o)

Most nervous about:
Hanging out with him and my friends. We all knew each other, but we'd never all hung out really outside of school. It went amazingly smooth, though. Then I got real nervous once he was the only left at my house after we got back from dinner!

Who called whom first:
Okay, so I probably need to tell a bit of the back story for this to make sense. I liked him. We were in class together. He was having a party at his mom's beach house the weekend of the last football game. Me and two friends were going down to Galveston that night already to get our belly buttons pierced (aren't I the rebel!?) so I asked him if we could swing by. We did. He was wasted, but we hung out, played Duck Hunt on the (old skool) Nintendo, I got to drive his new truck to Jack in the Box, and walked on the beach talking while trying to find my friend who had 'disappeared' with a guy. He hugged me when we left while his ex-girlfriend was glaring at us from the balcony. (ha!) The next week at school, he confessed to his best friend that he thought he liked me. I (had a crush on him for years so I) wanted to see if it would go somewhere, so I called him to see if we could borrow his truck for the student council food drive. He agreed, which led to the dinner at Denny's after we were all finished transporting the canned goods...

First Kiss

When:
That first night after we went to Denny's.

Where:
Out in the breezeway at my parent's house.

Who kissed whom first:
Hmm...I'm gonna say it was pretty mutual, but I was nervous as all get out, so he probably leaned in first.

We will always remember:
The date. Of course, I'll always remember the shirt I was wearing. It was red, with a glittery butterfly on it. :o)

Saying the LOVE word

Who said it first:
Actually, he did. He was really upset about something (can't remember exactly what anymore) and about on the verge of tears and during the conversation he mumbled something along the lines of, "I think I'm in love with you...". To which I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tight and saying, "Well, you know I love you, right??"

When:
You, know, I don't recall exactly when that was.

Where:
We were at my parent's house. He was about to go home when the whole upsetting conversation started. Man, I sure wish I could remember why he was so upset in the first place.

His reaction:
He just kept hugging me tight. I think it helped him calm down though...knowing that it was mutual.

Your reaction:
No guy had ever told me that and I knew I loved him so I was just so happy I finally found someone that loved me back!

First Trip

When was it:
July of 2001

Where was it to:
I got to go with his family to his mom's side's family reunion in California.

Did you buy any souvenirs:
Mostly edible ones. They have the best salt water taffy.

Have you been back together:
We have. A couple times. They have the reunion every year.

Tokens of affection

First gift he gave you:
Christmas of 2000. We'd only been dating a month. I'm pretty sure he got me a cute hoodie and some cotton shorts that said SOFTBALL...I'd started playing again shortly before that.

First gift you gave him:
I got him a wallet. And Reese's peanut butter cups. His fave.

When was the last time you bought or received flowers:
He got me flowers not too long ago. Just cuz. :o)

What did or will you do for Valentines day?
Well, last year, he was in Paris for Valentine's...not sure what's in store for us yet this year.

Feast on this

First meal he cooked for you:
Well, the first memorable meal would have to be from our one year anniversary. We stole down to the beach house, alone, for the night and we cooked shells and cheese and added some ham to it.

First meal you cooked for him:
I helped with the shells and cheese, but he was trying to be romantic and make me dinner. :o)

Foods you introduced to him:
Gravy. My mom always made gravy with mashed potatoes and his mom didn't.

Foods he introduced to you:
Clam chowder. One of his mom's specialties that I had never had before. Delish, btw!

Nights at home

Favorite meals:
Hmm...not sure if we have any favorites really. There are things that I cook a lot just because we like them and they're easy.

Favorite treats:
We love brownies. So I try not to make them too often. They get eaten way too fast!

Favorite things to do:
Sit on the couch and watch movies. We're so boring!

Favorite Ice Cream:
That I can get out of my freezer? Mine would probably be mint chocolate chip. His would be the HEB Creamy Creations caramel turtle pecan or something like that.

Out on the town

Favorite restaurants:
I would say the Mexican place back home, El Sombrero. He loves it to, but I don't know if he'd call it a favorite or not...

Favorite dance club:
Uhh...we don't dance...

Favorite theatres:
Um, movie theater? Because that's the only theaters we ever go to!

Favorite activities:
Like Eyegirl, we're not too terribly exciting. Dinner and a movie is about as exciting as we get when we go out. Every once in a blue moon we make it out to a concert, so that's fun.

Our future holds

What he wishes for:
A few acres and a big house and an offshore boat and a deer lease so he can teach his sons how to hunt and fish. :o)

What you wish for:
Happiness and less stress and a family of our own.

Random

Our Differences:
Ha! I'm sure some people would call us the epitomy of "opposites attract"!

Our Similarities:
We're both quite family oriented, smart, hardworking, perfectionists, stubborn...and we love each other! :o)