I have no words.

I have no words to express the sadness in my heart right now.

No words to understand the hardest decision my best friend had to make today. A decision that no parent should ever have to make. A decision that says, enough is enough and it's time to let him go.

No words of condolence that will make the hurt any less painful or the sorrow go away.

I'm sorry. I'm sad. He will be missed. He was loved dearly.

These are words. But they just aren't...enough.

So, with what words I can, I will say, "Rest in peace little Benjamin. May you be wrapped in God's love for all eternity. Because Lord knows, you deserve it."

I have no words.

Happy happy joy joy!

I’m not sure exactly why, but I am in just a terrific mood this morning! So of course, I just had to share with you guys! Aren’t I the sweetest? Really, there could be numerous reasons for my gleefulness this morning…

It might be because I am so proud of my doggies. Yesterday, it was (supposed to be) raining and storming all day long. I really didn’t want to have to put the dogs outside in that kind of weather. They would be miserable and covered in mud when I got home! So, for the first time ever, I left them inside. OUT of their crates (which we’ve broken down and stored away). For the ENTIRE day. Now, I did contain them to the upstairs hallway, like we do at night, but still. I was very nervous to what I would come home to. Well, I got home, let them outside then went up to survey the damage. Or rather, LACK THERE OF!! No damage at all! They didn’t try to eat their pillows. They didn’t chew on the furniture. They didn’t even pee on the carpet!! Oh, I was but ecstatic! I even gave Major a hug. (He’s a good hug giver) And while they were cooped up all day and all night yesterday, they were still perfect little angels this morning as I got ready for work. I love my dogs. They’re the greatest!

You know, my good mood most certainly could be from the fact that I went to Bunco last night, at my mom’s house, with my best friend. It’s actually been a while since my best friend, B, and I have had some just us time. And it was great. She got me all up to speed on her pregnancy. Her new pictures. Her new due date. Her eating rules. What they’ve started picking out for baby. It’s all just so exciting! While I didn’t win anything at bunco, (though B did!) it was a great relaxing night with a fun group of ladies. And I definitely need that every once in a while.

Really, it could just be the weather that makes me so giddy. We had a cool front come through yesterday and I woke up to 52 degrees this morning! BRRRRR!!! The sky is crystal clear blue today with the most perfect cool breeze. I even wore a long sleeve shirt to work! I L-O-V-E this weather. That alone can put the hugest smile on my face! Though it would be even more perfect if I, you know, didn’t have to work. But hey, we take what we can get, right?

Also, I finally started rereading Twilight (again)!! Though I'm only two chapters into it so far, just the fact that I'm reading it again makes me smile.

Now, my last reason, is, well, a little controversial. I’ve been debating whether to post it. But I figured y’all would have the best advice, so here goes. I’m actually in a good mood partly because my husband is out of the country. Now, please don’t take this the wrong way. Let me explain. I love my husband dearly and I am sad when he’s away, but he’s been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo super stressed lately and he’s bringing all this bad stressful energy home. I’ve been trying very very hard lately to simplify and declutter and relax my life. I stress out too easily. Even though he’s got about 1000 times more stress than I do, he’s not trying very hard to rectify the situation. And really, his stress and bad energy just ends up bringing me down with him. I try my hardest to get him to see the light and make changes, but he just doesn’t. And so, while he’s away, I feel so much…lighter. Like I can breathe again. It really does break my heart to see him like this. Who knows what I can do to help him out?? I want to be able to have these wonderful, carefree, happy feelings when he’s at home!! I want us to be happy and carefree and relaxed TOGETHER! Help a girl out??

Okay, okay…I really do need to get some work done today! I truly hope that all of you are having a super wonderful fantastic Friday!

Ta-da! My fresh start!

Welcome! Returning friends may notice some changes over here on my blog. Don't worry, it's still me! I've just decided to make a fresh start with a new identity. Hope you enjoy it!

For any new-comers, first off, thanks for stopping by! I'd like to share a little background with you and help you get to know me, here at Chronicles of June.

I'm June. I started blogging in February after a good friend revealed to me the glory that is the blogosphere! Since I started, I also joined Twitter, and have really made some wonderful friends! Friends that help me get through the struggle of a job I have right now. My greatest aspirations are to quit my day job and open a store on Etsy. I would love to be a stay at home/work at home mom. Well, to do that, I guess I would need kids, huh??

Haha!

I've been with the Ward for just about nine years now. We've been married about 3 1/2 of those nine, but we've known each other since we were about, oh, five years old! Awww...so sweet! I know, right? :o) We've decided this year that it's time for this two of a kind to get working on a full house! No luck yet, but you better believe I'll keep you posted on all that's going on.

I say this is a fresh start, but feel free to browse any of my older posts. They're all still there!

I became June once I realized that what I really wanted out of life was to be home to cook and clean and iron and sew and bead and keep house and provide a nuturing home. I know it may be old fashioned, but I guess that's just me, an old fashioned girl taking this modern world by the reins and running with it.

What a Weekend

Wow, I feel like I’ve been away forever! Guess it’s good it’s only been a few days. Ended up having a bunch going on this weekend. Don’t think I got on the computer at all all weekend! Crazy, huh? Well, here’s a little recap for you:

 

Friday: I hosted a Girls Night In at my house with my two best friends. We made spaghetti, French bread, and cookies and watched the movie 17 Again. We hadn’t gotten together just the 3 of us in a while so it’s was nice to hang out a bit. We had a good time and the movie was really good! And Val brought over this new red wine that I actually liked! (I’m totally not a big wine drinker, red especially, but this was awesome!) I tried to buy some at Kroger yesterday, but they didn’t sell that brand. :o( I’ll probably go to HEB this weekend for groceries, so I’ll pick some up there. They have a MUCH larger wine selection.

 

Saturday: Even though I didn’t get to bed until after midnight, I got up early so B and I could go do some shopping first thing in the morning. We went to Hobby Lobby and Michael’s and I got a whole bunch of bead supplies (and $0.99 Simplicity patterns!) so I can start stocking up for my Etsy store. This week all the chains and findings and metal things are on sale, so I’ll go back and get that type stuff sometime this week. Then I should have a pretty good amount to start with and can actually start making some stuff with which I can finally OPEN the Etsy store! On my way home from shopping, my MIL called and my SIL and her fiancé were in town and they were going to see the movie Nine and wanted to know if I wanted to go. So I went down to MIL’s house and we went to the movie (which was pretty good) and then ran some errands then went back to her house and we had dinner over there. I didn’t get home until almost 9pm so I ended up being gone pretty much the entire day.

 

Sunday: Hubby finally got home! He got to the house about 6:30am and just came up and got in bed. (Yeah, I was totally still sleeping) We ended up both sleeping until after 9am, I think! Guess I really needed the sleep! We got up, had breakfast, and made a grocery list. Then we took the dogs down to MIL’s house and had lunch over there for her birthday today. Then we stopped by FIL’s apartment to say “hi” since hubby just got back. We got back home, dropped off the dogs, then went to Houston Garden Center to take advantage of their 70% off sale. We finally bought a tree for the backyard! And thanks to 70% off, we got a 20 gallon, $130 tree for only $40! Hubby and I went back and forth for like 20 minutes over which tree to get. He really wanted the Sweetgum and I really wanted the Chinese Elm. We ended up getting the Chinese Elm since I told him, based on my research, that it had a much better chance of survival. And maybe later on we can go back and get the Sweetgum, too. But we’ll see. We brought the tree home and then I went to the grocery store while hubby started digging the hole to plant the tree. Turns out in this DROUGHT the ground is WAAAAAAY hard so it’s not planted yet. He had to have his brother bring back our post hole digger to try to use that to help out, but he didn’t bring it up until after 7pm when he was on his way back to school, so maybe he can work on it tonight. Good thing we bought some good Miracle Grow garden soil for planting it. From the looks of it, our backyard dirt is pretty nutrient poor.

 

So that was my weekend. I have another post brewing in my head about some other things going on, so maybe I’ll be able to get to that today. I at least have to start writing it before I forget! It’s just nice to finally have my husband back. For a bit, at least. He apparently might have to go to the UK in a couple weeks, but just for a couple days IF he goes. But he shouldn’t have to go back to Brazil until closer to the end of October. Gosh, I can’t believe there’s only a week and a half of September left! Good thing I started ordering Christmas gifts last night! Where does the time go??

 

A few more steps

You know I'd been feeling pretty down about my lack of accomplishments lately. Well, I am feeling quite a bit better on that front. Yesterday I was able to get all the clothes washed, I cleaned the kitchen, I swept the floors, and I washed our towels. The only thing I didn't get to was changing my sheets, but hey, it's a start, right? And tonight I even mowed the lawn again!

The only reason I'm not feeling so great is because my husband had to go back to Brazil last night. So I'm home alone again this week. It's really starting to get lonely around here. But at least I have a cleaner house to be lonely in, I guess. I'm trying to keep busy though. Like tonight, with mowing the lawn. My workout class starts tomorrow. Wednesday a friend invited me over for dinner, but I would have gone to the library if she hadn't. Thursday is Bunco. I invited a couple friends over for a girls night in on Friday. And then I'll clean more on Saturday in anticipation of hubby coming home Sunday morning. So I'm trying to stay busy, but I'm still in a funk.

You know, I don't think I would feel so down when he's away if I were enjoying my job. It is seriously a struggle just to get through each day. At this point, I think I'm way beyond "burnt out". And I just don't know what to do. I started working on a couple new projects and I was excited about it...doing something new and different...but then I got a new plan to work on. I am just so tired of estimating. Which pretty much sucks since I'm a Senior Estimator. Don't get me wrong, I like working, I like my coworkers, I love the money. But I just can't stand the work I'm doing right now. And with this economy, it's highly unlikely that I'll be able to move to any new position in the near future. So I am stuck. And I don't know what to do about it. How do you struggle through the work day but still try to put on a happy face for your boss? It's becoming increasingly difficult and I just don't know how much longer I can keep up the charade before I just lose it. Hopefully until after Christmas so I can make sure all our holiday spending is covered. :o)

Sorry for the pretty uninteresting post. I tend to write pretty blandly when I write at night. Like I said the other day, I have so much more interesting things to write about when I'm at work, but don't get the chance to write them before I forget what I was going to say. So, I'll try to do better, but just try to bare with me while I work it all out.

I'm going to go let the dogs out to potty now and try to go to sleep. It's so much harder to sleep when I have to do it alone...

The Ups and the Downs

How was everyone's weekend? I love long weekends. I can get so much more done! This long weekend for me had some ups and it had some downs.

We'll start with the downs and get those out of the way so we can end on a good note, shall we? Plus, there were fewer downs than ups, so that's good, right?

One down was the fact that I really didn't get much cleaning done around the house. And boy does it need it! I really should have cleaned the kitchen and gotten more laundry done and went to the grocery store, but I didn't. Other than that, the really only other bad thing was the fact that my husband, who also had the day off today, didn't actually take the day off. He left this morning to meet his boss at work, then went from there to a draft for a fantasy football league he joined, then from there went to his boss's house to do some more work. So he left this morning before 10am and didn't get back for another 12 hours. :o(

Now, for the ups! We went to the beach on Saturday and that was really fun. The dogs had a blast, it was a beautiful day, and it was great to spend some times with friends. Sunday, I got the office all painted, so I was really happy about that. I've only been wanting to finish painting the rest of the house for months, and in the past month, I've gotten 2 more rooms done! Yay! So, while hubby was away today, I worked on getting the office put back together and started with the big organization project for that room. It might be a mess for a while yet since there is A LOT to go through and organize. So, needless to say, I will not be able to post some before/after pictures for some time. I also went out to a movie this evening with some friends, too. We went and saw Gamer. It was a different movie, but good. The fact that it starred Gerard Butler was a definite plus. :o) Love that guy. And while hubby did not go, since he was not home, I still had a good time and am glad that I went and got out of the house for a bit. But too bad for him because I know he would have liked the movie, but now he'll have to wait for it to come out on DVD and we can put it on our Netflix.

See? I told you there were more pluses about the weekend than minuses. However, I've been feeling quite dizzy since I got home earlier this evening. Weird. But maybe I'll still be dizzy in the morning and can call in sick to work. :o) Anywho...I digress...I meant to say, I've been dizzy so I'm gonna go ahead and call it a night. I hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend and enjoy this nice short week!

Bummed

Y'all, I'm bummed. I'm bummed that I don't get to spend as much time reading your blogs as I'd like. I'm bummed that I don't comment on said blogs as much as I'd like to. I'm bummed because I feel like I could make some really great friends through these blogs, but I'm not putting forth enough effort to make it work.

One thing I am thankful for is the fact that I do have you guys on Twitter. Something I can spend a little bit more time with. I'm trying my best, y'all. I really am. I'm kind of stuck in a catch 22 here. I want to spend more time with you guys so that I can make more friends (since hubby is away so often), but with hubby being away so often, it's when I have the least amount of time to spend (since I have a whole life to take care all by my lonesome during those times).

Especially with me wanting to start up my own Etsy store (and actually be successful!), I know that lots of friends and support is exactly what I need for that endeavour.

God, I really just want to quit my day job. That would (almost) fix all my problems. It would not fix the issue of not being able to pay all our bills if I did! But I might be a little more happy.

::shrug::

So yeah, I'm a little bummed right now. Hopefully a lovely day at the beach tomorrow with good friends and the dogs will help me out. :o) Nighty night!

Reconnection Weekend

Okay, it seems like this weekend was a weekend of reconnections for me. It was pretty nice, actually. Being home alone, it was nice to get out of the house and see people I haven't seen in years. I already told you about my dinner on Friday. Well then on Saturday I had another reconnection which was pretty random, actually, but I'm so glad it happened!

I was trying to work around the house on Saturday, but really I just kept getting sidetracked and ended up spending a lot of time on the computer. I was browsing Facebook and saw one of my "friends" on there mentioned she was hosting her first bunco night that night. I knew this girl in highschool. She was a freshman when I was a senior so we weren't super close or anything, but we were both in band and hung out. She went to the same college as me, but again, I was on my way out as she was on her way in so I only saw her a few times. Anywho, she mentions something about the fact she's an old married lady since she's playing bunco. Well. I've been playing bunco for years now, so I had to comment and let her know she was not alone! A couple hours later, I get a phone call from her! (my phone number is on my Facebook page...) She says she saw my comment and they actually still needed another player and wondered if I wanted to come play since she had seen that my husband was out of the country. Aww...how sweet! Bunco lover that I am, I of course said yes!

I get over there that night and turns out there were two other girls from her class in highschool that were there as well! It had been even longer since I had seen them. We had a really fun time playing bunco. Most of the people there had never played before or had only played once or twice (besides me, the master...) so it was quite entertaining. :o) And I might even play with them again if they're still short a player. And I will definitely be calling her up for our bunco night since we almost always need extra players.

Anyone else care to join us?

Catching up

The other night I mentioned that I was going to meet up with an old friend last night. Since John had to jet off to Brazil last minute, it ended up just being me, her, her husband, and their 9mo. old son. But let me tell you, it was fantabulous time!

H and I grew up together. We lived just down the street from one another. We played softball together, had classes together, practically lived at one another's houses when we were young. We stayed close for many, many years. Then our sophomore year of high school, I believe it was, her family moved from Texas to Minnesota where her dad was originally from. It was sad to see her go, but I knew it wouldn't be forever. We'd been too close over the years!

We corresponded here and there. Saw each other once or twice. But it was hard being across the country from each other, trying to live our own lives. A few years later we got a wedding invitation in the mail for her. I was so happy she had found a great guy and fell in love, but I knew after that it would be even harder to try to keep in touch.

Well, thank the heavens for internet, right?? She recently got a Facebook page and it just so happened that she was one of my "suggested friends" since we both had the same hometown. I was overjoyed to find her again! I thought about her a lot over the years and was so happy we could finally talk again! It was like 8 years hadn't passed at all.

She still has some family in the area so she sent me a message saying there were coming down for a visit this weekend and would I like to get together. Of course I would! That would be awesome! So we met up for dinner last night and spent a good two and a half hours catching up. I got to meet her husband, who is really a wonderful guy. I got to meet their son, who is just too cute for words! It was a great time and while I wish John would have been there to share it, it didn't make it any less special.

I gave her my blog address so she can keep up with me, so H, if you're reading, I'm soooooooooooooooo glad I got to see you!! And we will most definitely keep in touch!!