Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Afraid...and an ultimatum

Let me start with a little back story. I believe I posted about this early last year, but I don't have time to go find that post right now.

Anywho...so last March, John and I travelled to Florida for my cousin's wedding. On the flight there, John fell asleep. I can never sleep on planes so I just sat there while he slept. After a little while, I noticed his strange breathing. He would take about 3 or 4 breaths and then he would stop. Stop breathing. For a good 10-12 seconds. It went on so long I started counting. I thought it was really weird. I'd never noticed that before.

While in Florida, I mentioned it to my mom, who is a nurse. All of a sudden she gets very concerned and says that that is sleep apnea and it can be very dangerous. I had no idea! She asked how long it had been going on and of course, I didn't know. Most of the time when he's sleeping, I'm sleeping so I don't notice. John, like always, brushes it aside as overreaction. He says his dad has sleep apnea and it probably just runs in the family. Uh, well, his dad is also a good 150 pounds overweight. Not a good comparison. So my mom tells him that if he lost about 20 or pounds, it would probably go away. We already had a vacation planned for July, so I told him he had to lose 30-40 pounds by the trip or he would have to go do a sleep study and get treated for the sleep apnea. Well, he only lost about 10 pounds before the trip, but I didn't push the issue of a sleep study. It was really regular that this would happen and I didn't notice it often, so it kind of faded to the back of my mind.

Fast forward to last night. I woke up about 5:30am after having a terrible dream, so I snuggled up close to John to make myself feel better. Wouldn't you know, it was happening again. 3 breaths, then nothing, for 10-12 seconds. I could not fall back asleep. I just laid there listening to him breath. And then not breath. And then breath again. For half an hour. Every time he stopped breathing, I would nudge him, try to make him breath. Didn't help. I got out of bed about 6am, 45 minutes before my alarm was to go off. I couldn't lay there anymore. I had too much on my mind now.

I just kept thinking about what my mom had said. If he lost about 30 pounds, it would probably go away on it's own. Granted, John could definitely stand to lose a good 40 pounds. And I try to ask all the time, "so...when are you going to lose weight?" He knows he needs to. He wants to. He just never does anything about it. Well, tonight, that's going to change. I refuse to take a laid back stance on this any longer. I don't care what the excuses are. I don't care if he hates me for making him do it. He WILL start to work towards losing this weight.

It definitely frightened me, last spring, when I thought that he might die in his sleep one night. I never want to wake up to find my husband has just stopped breathing entirely during the night. Never to wake up again. But back then, it was just me. I would probably survive.

But now.

Now, there is a whole nother life that depends on this man for everything! As much as I don't want to lose my husband to something that could be so easily preventable...I will NOT let my daughter lose her father before she even has a chance to know who he is.

And so, tonight, I will sit down with John and tell him. If he does not start to lose weight, and lose at least 25-30 pounds before Ella is born, he WILL go to a sleep study and get treatment for this. I am not going to sit around any longer on the side lines. I won't go to bed every night anymore wondering if he'll wake up in the morning. It's not just me anymore that he should be worried about leaving behind. He has a family now.

Thanks for listening guys. I really needed to get that out. I just hope I have the courage to do it all over again once John gets home tonight. Wish me luck!

Friday, June 25, 2010


Okay, so I've been feeling Ella kick and squirm around for several weeks now. In the past maybe 3 weeks, you could start to feel her in the outside of my tummy. Kinda neat, right? Well, John thinks it's so cool and he wants to feel her kick! So when he's actually home and she's kicking, I'll tell him to try to feel. No joke, EVERY single time this has happened, the second he puts his hand on my belly, she stops! He'll even sit there for several minutes waiting for her to kick again and she never does!

I started joking with him the since he's gone so much, she doesn't know who he is. Or that she just doesn't like him. Mean, I know. But it was funny! This happened several times a week! He started getting so frustrated!

So last night, I'm lounging on the couch reading. Go figure, John I working late so he wasn't home yet. Well, Ella was all up in my side just squirming up a storm! My belly was contorting in all kinds of weird shapes. And let me tell you, when its in your side, its not that comfortable! Anywho, this was going on for a good half hour. Just about then, John gets home. Like usual, he's on the phone as he walks through the front door. I swear, I kid you not, she was moving when I heard him in the driveway, but the second he opens the door, blabbing away on the phone, she stopped!

He comes and sits on the couch, still on the phone. (can you tell it kind of annoys me how much he's on the phone??) She did a few twitches here and there, but of course I can't tell him since he's ON THE PHONE.

Not much later I went to bed. Did I mention he didn't get home until 9:30pm? I wake up 3 hours later, 1am mind you, and John is still not in bed. What. The. Heck. He's on the computer. Looking at boats we can't afford, no doubt. Seriously?? So I'm awake, so of course I get up to pee. He finally comes in to bed about 20 minutes later, just as I'm dozing back off to sleep. He gets all cuddled up and puts his hand on belly, like he does most nights, "just in case" she's kicking. Well, turns out she actually was this time! And he finally felt ONE kick! He goes, "I felt her!" And he started moving his hand around to try to feel more.

At that exact moment, Major starts barking. No big deal, right? He sometimes will bark in the middle of the night if he's sill awake and some teenager drives by with the radio too loud. Of course, not this time. This time, he doesn't stop barking. And then Cocoa started barking. Now, Cocoa does not bark often so when she does, there's usually something wrong.

John gets up, takes his gun from the nightstand and goes to check it out. He takes the gate off the top of the stairs and both dogs go running downstairs just barking their heads off! So, what was all the commotion about? There were cops, on foot, chasing somebody through our subdivision!! John said he look out the window and saw two cops running across the cul-de-sac, then they jumped in a police car and sped off through the subdivision! Crazy, right??

Boy, it was a long night, I tell you what. After all the cop chasing is over, at least from in front of our house, John comes back to bed. I'm like totally awake now since it was all just a tad on the scary side. Ella is kicking like crazy, which is also keeping me awake. Then I realize she must be kicking so much because I am STARVING. My stomach starts growling and I can't fall asleep. So at 2 o'clock in the morning, I'm heading downstairs for a snack just so I can go back to sleep for 4 1/2 more hours!

Longest night ever, I swear. And I totally wish I was making all this up! But no. Apparently this is what my life is actually like these days.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Just call me "little miss fattie"

I went to the doctor on Monday, right? Well, I had noticed that I had already gained my initial recommended 25lbs. ::gasp!!::

I know, right? That's MORE than a pound per week for the entire pregnancy!

Well, since I've had a couple appointments where my interval gain has been higher than expected, my doctor has mentioned this fact to me and told me (multiple) times to "watch that weight gain". I was completely dreading this visit. I mean, I know I've gotten larger in other areas BESIDES my belly, but I didn't think it was that bad. I can still squeeze into my old pants...as long as they aren't buttoned...or zipped.

So I'm a little nervous waiting in the room. Then the nurse comes in and starts going on and on about how I barely look pregnant at all! And I must not have gained hardly any weight so far!

Then she looked at my chart.


But then she discovered my starting weight and said I shouldn't have been that skinny to begin with and I just look fabulous. Blah blah blah. I mean, it was nice to hear, don't get me wrong. But she said, and I quote, "You just look like you've had a few too many beers!"

Gee...thanks lady. And I don't even drink beer! Like, ever.

Anyway...she leaves and the doctor comes in. She kind of "tsk, tsk"s about my weight gain thus far. "You may need a little more crunch per your calorie."

Well, poo on you, too.

Said I REALLY need to watch it from now on and if it really starts to ge out of hand I'll have to start writing down everything I eat to go over with her at my appointments! Gah!

Thank heavens for water aerobics twice a week for the next month and a half. I obviously need to get my fat butt in gear!!

I am pretty disappointed in myself for allowing my butt to get so cottage cheesy. Yuck. I've gotten rid of cellulite before and by god, I'll do it again!!

Okay, fattie rant over.

Think I'll go find something to snack on. :o)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Day off

I took the day off today. Initially, I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon so was planning on just a half day at work. Not a week later, I get a postcard in the mail that the dogs are due for shots. So, I made their appointment for this morning so I could have a whole day! It's so nice to have a Monday off. Just prolongs the weekend. :o)

We've been quite busy around here, but what else is new? John's company is actually working on a project to help the big gulf oil spill so he's been working 7 days a week since Memorial Day so they can get the project done. He FINALLY didn't actually go into the office yesterday, so we were able to go to Babies R Us and finish our registry. One more check on the baby to do list! Registry's done! I can't believe I've got less than 4 months until the due date. Seriously?? There's still sooooooo much to do!!

I'm so excited that this week marks 24 weeks of pregnancy. And that means, viable baby! Having my best friend just go through an extremely high risk pregnancy and ultimately end up delivering at just 26 weeks, it probably means a lot more to me than most others. Not that I've had any problems so far, but it's just nice to know I made it so far.

Well, look at that. Time to leave for the doctor...

...okay, so I'm back now. Much much later. :o) Had some errands to run and then water aerobics class then had to make dinner and eat and finish watching Secret Life of the American Teenager. We're nerds, I know.

Umm...so where was I? The only thing I remember I was going to tell you...have I mentioned yet what we're going to name little baby here? I don't remember if I did or not. If not, we've decided on the name Ella Renee. I love having a name all picked out. Now we can actually refer to her as Ella and not just "her" or "baby". It's pretty exciting.

Anywho...I should be going. Time for bed and then off to another oh so wonderful day at the office. :oP Hope to most more soon!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Blog template challenged...

You all know how I introduced a new blog template a while back. Well, as you can still tell, I haven't done any updating to it at all. Turns out, I'm kind of retarded. The template I just downloaded from one of those "free blogger templates" sites. And I have no idea how to customize it. None. What. So. Ever.

So. My question for you is this. Has anyone had someone do a custom template for them? One that's not expensive? One that is easily customize-able? Like adding new buttons, or link, or badges, or fun stuff like that without screwing up the whole thing?? One where I can actually figure out how to USE the links and do custom links? {BTW, I don't even know what RSS Feeds are!!}

Wow. I am such a blog retard.

I need help!

First, some deliciousness!

Since it's been almost a MONTH since I last posted, I figured I should stop in and say hello!


I had the idea for this post for quite some time now. Even took the pictures so I could post it. And then never did. Oopsie.

But I am here now and you will finally get to hear about the most delicious breakfast/snack that you've ever eaten in your life!! (Okay, maybe not, but it's still quite fabulous.) Let me start by saying that through the first few months of this pregnancy, the thought of eating yogurt completely turned my stomach. As much as it's a great snack for us preggos, I couldn't stand it. Even though normally I like yogurt. Well, anywho, the only times when yogurt sounded good was when I was thinking of a yogurt parfait. You know, the kind you can get at McDonald's or Chick-fil-A. But I was trying to be good and stay away from fast food so I never got one. Well, then about a month ago, the craving for a yogurt parfait was just about unbearable. I HAD to have one. I was on my way to the grocery store at the time, so I decided I'd see if they sold pre-made parfaits.

They didn't.

I was just about to check out, completely devastated about not getting a yogurt parfait, when I had an epiphany. "Duh! Why can't I just make my own??" And so off I ran I casually strolled away to find yogurt, fruit, and granola. The next morning, I whipped one together and swore I had never eaten anything so magnificent! And being so gracious as I am, I decided to share with the rest of you. [Instead of hoarding away all the yogurt, fruit and granola for my own enjoyment.]

Here are my ingredients:

I shop at Kroger, can you tell?

The first couple times I made it was in a coffee mug, so I filled it about half full of yogurt, then spooned a few spoonfuls of the berries with a little of the syrup over the yogurt. Next came a couple more spoonfuls of yogurt to cover the berries, and topped it off with some nice granola. Mmm. Heaven.

Then I decided that I'd like it as a snack at work, so I made in a little 1 or 2cup size tupperware. Which made a pretty picture all put together. See?

There you have it my friends. One de-lisho snack! I hope you try it out and I really hope you enjoy just as much as I do!!