Major, I swear to God!

Despite a morning that has just been dragging on and on, I have been pretty productive.  So before we go to lunch I thought I’d give myself a little break and tell a quick story.  I’m sure it will be much more hilarious to everyone else!

We have kind of determined that Major doesn’t really like being in his crate at night anymore.  After so many hours he just won’t stop whining.  Like the other day when I thought he needed to potty again and he just went and laid on the couch instead!  Two nights ago when he started whining, I let him out to pee and then just let him come in and sleep with us the rest of the night because I was NOT going to get up 3 more times with him anymore.  It went perfectly fine the rest of the night.  He slept quite comfortably at our feet.  Last night, I decided maybe we’d just try to let him sleep with us all night as to not have to worry at all about getting up during the night to let him out so he would stop whining.  Let’s just say the night didn’t even start well.

Instead of laying at our feet like he did the other night, he decides he needs to be RIGHT between us.  So his feet are pushing against John and the rest of his body is shoving against me.  And yes, he was actually shoving.  He is also one of those dogs that if he just isn’t quite comfortable, he’ll get up, spin around 10 times, lay down, get up spin around 10 times, lay down…over and over and over.  That was him last night.  Imagine a 55lb dog trying to spin around in a tight circle between two bodies.  There was lots of getting stepped on, let me tell you.  Normally the spinning doesn’t wake me up, but when a big foot jabs down right in the middle of your thigh, it’s a different story. 

Now, the whole night wasn’t a complete disaster.  He mostly slept.  It wasn’t until about 3:30am-4:30am when he started getting restless.  By 5am he kept jumping off the bed, jumping on the bed, getting in your face, laying down…and start all over again.  I roll over onto my stomach and try to hide my face in the pillow and try to ignore him.  What does my sweet Major do?  Jumps on the bed and lays, flat out, on my back!  His nose resting ON MY FACE.  I turn my head to the other side, he moves his head, again, to rest it, again, ON MY FACE.  This went back and forth a couple more times before I gave up.  All the while having 55lbs crushing me from above.  I tried to roll over to roll him off, but he only half fell off and then I was even MORE uncomfortable.  (Why doesn’t he bother John like this???)  He settled between us again with his shoulders jutting into my stomach…ouch!  I try to move him towards the end of the bed.  He’s not having it.  So by now, I am on the furthest most edge of the bed with covers barely covering half of me.  Then he decides to get off the bed again and go walk around and sit by the door.  Finally!  Room!  I peek out at him and he’s just sitting there so I close my eyes to try to go back to sleep for another hour. 

What happened next, I think he did COMPLETELY on purpose…just so I would get up.  I’m laying there trying my hardest to ignore him and I hear him start licking his lips over and over again.  That’s odd, I think to myself.  So I (give in and decide to) get up and walk over to see what he’s doing.  Just as I’m opening the door to let him out of the room, what does he do??  Throws up!!  Then he turns around makes it over to the stairs and throws up again!!  UGH!!  Now I am painstakingly WIDE awake as I hurry him downstairs and outside.  Then I have to turn on all these lights and get the carpet cleaner and paper towels.  THANKFULLY it was only two very small areas of mostly liquid (and a couple pieces of wood from the unused fence pickets they’ve been chewing on all week) so not too bad.  Major has since gone to lay down in his crate so I finish cleaning up and just get back in bed.  I left the doors open so he could get up if he wanted and sure enough, the minute I turn out the light and lay down, he’s jumping back up on the bed with us.  At least now he’s all satisfied so he curls back up and we all fall back asleep for another 45min until it’s time to actually get up.

Oh, my dear, dear Major…you’re driving me crazy!!